I am always ‘Busy’ but still unfulfilled!

GUEST COLUMN: Dr N Prabhudev

Bengaluru Express
Bengaluru, July 22:

Rise at 6, Breakfast at 10, Supper at 6, bed by 10, makes one live ten x ten. Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise. Is it not monotonous? Benjamin Franklin’s words made an impact until James Thurber, in the New Yorker, turned the idiom on its head with ‘early to rise and early to bed makes a man healthy, wealthy and dead.
Packed schedules- To-do lists grow by the minute, calendars are filled to the brim, and you don’t seem to have time to catch up on even e-mails. It is overwhelming and has led to burnout. And there are the day-to-day demands of running a home. People are just stretched to a breaking point!
Thoughts about life and death drift in and out of my consciousness on a regular basis, what is the meaning of it all? What is the purpose of life? I asked silently in the privacy of my thoughts! I reflected on my own experiences—particularly my blind chase towards a wonderful tomorrow. We stride through life as if we will live forever. We don’t realise – The tide and the time never wait and they never last.
“All this chasing -for what?” I race and chase – to make more money, have more success, be more attractive, and hopefully be happier in some distant future! The wanting for more never ends; and happiness will always appear to be just a reach away!
What surprises you most about humankind? – We lose health to make money and then lose money to restore our health. We live as if we will never die, and we die as if we never lived…”
I lead a simple life! The purpose of my life is to lead a life of purpose. I have learnt to be Tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak because I am strong.
I have a simple philosophy – show kindness, do no harm, laugh at myself and if I can – help others in need. Feeling fulfilled is something many of us strive for, but often seems elusive. Life is hectic with work, relationships, and stress leading us to not realize how awesome life is.
Personal achievements, meaningful relationships, or simply enjoying a quiet moment of peace, fulfilment can take many forms. It’s not just about reaching a goal; it’s about feeling content and happy with where you are and what you’re doing leading to a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment.
Feeling unfulfilled is frustrating. I’ve been there many times! Comparing yourself to others is a losing game. I have realised It’s easy to find someone better, stronger, richer, more powerful, more successful, and of higher status than you! We look for shortcuts, quick-win tactics, and the “secret” to achieve results fast. It is a disaster! Be brave enough to dream big and be wise enough to plan to accomplish and to succeed!
Packed schedules! You are using constant activity to avoid uncomfortable emotions and unmet needs! You are not alone! We live in a time when being busy is seen as a sign of success and importance! Being busy doesn’t always mean we are living a fulfilled life! The purpose of life is not merely to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honourable, to be compassionate and to make some difference that you have lived and lived well.
Often, we stay busy to avoid facing difficult feelings, unmet needs and unfulfilled desires or truths about ourselves that might be hard to accept! Sadness, loneliness or anxiety – Ignoring these feelings only postpones true healing and happiness! These emotions can feel scary and overwhelming!
Long-term stress keeps your body and mind in a constant state of alert! You are always in a fight or flight mode! You are uncomfortable to relax! Slowing down leads to anxiety! You are busy and still unfulfilled! Material objects and goods are no longer the only indicators of one’s social standing. You are inviting a metabolic syndrome, a diabetes, a hypertension and may be – even premature death!
Being busy and being productive are different! Productivity has more to do with what we accomplish and not what we do and for how long! Demanding schedules can leave little to no time for meaningful connections with others – leaves you feeling isolated and lonely. Take a look at your own life – Contented, Rushed, Exciting, Stressful, moving forward, holding back? For many of us it’s all of the above at times.
We think we’re important. That is a delusion. We want to be important in other people’s lives. We want to feel and believe that we make a big difference in other people’s lives. You try too hard to please others! Desires, obsessions and possessions possess you. Free yourself from your impulses.
The quest for a fulfilled life is one of the most universal human pursuits. Love Is The Key To Fulfilment! Wealth and health form the foundation! Power completes the cycle! After a certain age the path to a fulfilling life begins from within. Self-reflection helps you find more meaning in your life experiences.

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