Why Are We So Afraid of Aging? What bothers many as they age?

GUEST CILUMN : Dr N Prabhudev
Bengaluru Express
Bengaluru, Nov 22:
The only way you achieve immortality is leaving a legacy- a legacy of truthful service and compassion. Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see! Real generosity towards the future lies in giving all to the present. A legacy isn’t just about what you leave behind; it’s about how you live your life today and the lessons you share. Your legacy reflects your beliefs, passions, and the things you hold dear—qualities that shape not just your life but the lives of those around you.
How I wish if we could only be born as ninety and gradually approach nineteen! I consider 70s to be the youth of old age. Youth has no age. But it’s a moment that passes much too quickly. A comfortable old age is the reward of a well-spent youth. Everyone ages at precisely the same rate -one day at a time.
Modern pressure to remain as youthful as possible heightens our fear of aging. Ageing is the single largest cause of human suffering. Living longer is a goal for all. Now it’s a reality for many. But living better is just as important as living longer. We’re Living Longer, But Not everyone is living healthier.
There often comes a point in life where celebrating birthdays goes from a joyful milestone to one with an undercurrent of melancholy! Sure, it’s normal to tire more easily as you age! That dreaded middle-age spread could actually be premature muscle loss – sarcopenia – your metabolism is slowing down. A few creaks and groans, feeling stiff, sore, or inflamed more often than not, your joints might be ageing!
Fear of aging certainly isn’t new. People pursue eternal youth! While aging often carries connotations of decline!
Worrying about declining health! A small cold or flu seems to hit you harder—and takes forever to bounce back from- your immune system isn’t keeping up. One of the scariest parts of aging is the uncertainty of it all – in five, ten, or twenty years? Will I still be able to do the things I love? Unanswered questions like these can leave us feeling anxious, stuck in a loop of “what ifs.”
Fear of loneliness –not being just alone! It’s the kind that comes from the world that ignores you, that doesn’t truly hear you! You feel out of place! It’s not the absence of love, but the absence of recognition. At first, it strikes as an ache, a quiet trauma that unsettles the heart, leaving us raw with questions of worth and belonging!
The fear of being unheard! Ever felt you’re speaking to a wall – And let’s face it: it sucks. The man whose words go unheard and ignored learns to silence his own voice! You do matter. You have a voice. Your thoughts, your emotions, your ideas — they all matter.
Connection goes beyond words – sees the parts of you that you’ve kept hidden—the pain, the scars, the dreams and the achievements! Fear of loss of self! You lose pieces of yourself, slowly becoming a shadow of who you once were—a ghost of your former self. You are there! But not really! You matter less and less! It is subtle and often invisible!
Worrying about being a burden to others – is an emotionally painful experience – can be overwhelming. This fear can create distance in relationships! You’d rather suffer in silence than inconvenience someone else.
And yet, in this loneliness, there is strength. The quiet courage of refusing to fade into insignificance! You may feel unseen, but the essence of who you are—the light, the fire, the complexity—is still alive. You become a river carving its own canyon, deep and determined.
Underneath it all, there’s often fear of death itself. Many may not even know they are dying! Aging is the most visible reminder of our mortality, and that can stir up a lot of discomfort! If you think about death a lot, make peace with it! People can also be afraid of the way they might die, and whether they will leave this world with a sense of dignity and without being a burden to their loved ones.
Doctors cannot prescribe a “good death”. Medical advances may extend life, but they cannot always relieve suffering. When pain becomes unbearable, the right to die with dignity deserves thoughtful consideration—supported by strong ethical guidelines and strict regulations to prevent misuse.

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