Nuances of Life!

The disappearing Art of listening and overpowering act of compulsive speaking!

GUEST COLUMN: Dr N Prabhudev

Bengaluru, July 27: The world is getting louder. It’s true that our world can sometimes feel like it’s drowning in noise and constant chatter. Whether it’s the cacophony of spoken words, of social media, the buzz of news updates, or the relentless stream of information, finding moments of quiet reflection and solitude is challenging. Drowned in Sound of music and culture sometimes, shutting down the noise and tuning into something meaningful—whether it is art, music, or inner reflection—can provide a much-needed respite from the chaos.
We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

Sometimes talking too much can lead to ridicule. Verbal diarrhoea can sometimes invite jest or mockery. When you talk too much you get on people’s nerves. It’s essential to find a balance between sharing thoughts and actively listening to others.
Often a compulsive speaker is an – I Know it all and you listen to me Person! They have a serious low self-esteem or with a ridiculously inflated ego! They think they’re always right. They refuse to admit mistakes. They think they are the best! They start arguments and always need to have the last word! They tend to be self-centred. How annoying it is when someone thinks they know everything about everything. Deep inside, they feel insecure. A know-it-all could be the “unnoticed” or “neglected” child in the family. Probably had to compete for attention!

You talk a lot. Either you know you do, or you’ve been told you do. You feel good to know you are being heard! Receiving the attention gives your ego a boost! You enjoy giving your opinions on everything! Gift of gab may be a valuable trait! When one crosses the line from being an interesting conversationalist and effective communicator to becoming a boring gabber you are holding others hostage with your verbal diarrhoea! You are talking more than anyone wants to listen! You often will be talking “at” rather than “to” others.
Most of us no longer know how to listen–to the other person and ourselves.
Most of us tend to treat conversation like a competitive sport, in which the person who says the most, makes the cleverest point, persuades others of an opinion, or even speaks the longest and loudest is the winner. All of us fall into this trap. All of us find ourselves interrupting, speechifying, insisting, and coming up with witticisms–all to support our point of view or display our superior knowledge.

Listening well is more than a matter of talking less. Even the devil appreciates being listened to. In one poll, one-third of women said their pets were better listeners than their partners.
Deep listeners listen with the intent to learn and connect. Active listening is not merely hearing words; it’s fully engaging with the speaker, both verbally and non-verbally.
Never use two words when one is more than enough! Talk less, listen more”! It is only by listening that we engage, understand, empathize, cooperate and develop as human beings. The talkative parrot is shut up in a cage. Other birds, without speech, fly freely about.
The cacophony of modern life stops us from listening. The less you listen the less you learn!

Choose few words each day. Yes! Few words that count. Few words that can make impact. Few words that talk much. Few words that can make people ponder and wonder. Few words that are indelible. Few words that can leave distinctive footprints on the minds. We often fail to mind our words,
We live in a world where everyone is talking and nobody is listening. The less you speak the more you hear. Speak only if you have something worthy to convey!
Talk too much – It costs us our credibility and our relationships!
The deep, dark ocean is often thought of as a peaceful, silent world. However, it is an orchestra of sounds, like the snapping of shrimp, the clicks of dolphins and the songs of whales. New science suggests that in many places, though, human activity may be drowning out those noises — and having a disorienting and destructive impact on marine animals.
In an ever-louder world save Silence! Is the world finally ready to listen?

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