Happiness is a mirage – I’m fine with it!

GUEST COLUMN: Dr N Prabhudev

Bengaluru, Feb. 22: Pretending to be happy is easier than actually being happy. We all sometimes feel pressure to put on our ‘happy face’ and smile. It’s perfectly normal not to feel happy all the time! Pretending to be happy does not make you happier! Remember – you deserve authentic happiness, and at the end of the day, happiness starts with you.

The word happiness has become so ambiguous that all attempts to define it just seem futile. Happiness is immeasurable and inconsistent. The vagueness and vastness of this word defies logic. Our fixation on happiness is almost religious. Whether you would “achieve great things or be happy” and 81% said that they would rather be happy, while only 13% opted for achieving great things.

Intuitive definition of happiness is “feeling good”! A mind-set of gratitude for blessings we already have rather than stressing about what we lack is truly a high way to happiness!
Key life lesson – Happiness is a state of mind rather than something to be obtained. Subjective wellbeing is the scientific term for happiness! Pleasure has, been closely associated with happiness. It is to be “at peace with yourself”. Modern conceptions of happiness are primarily practical and not philosophical, focusing on the techniques of happiness. The concern is not what happiness is, but instead on how to get it.
Happiness is fleeting! It does not last for ever! But you need money all the time! Just because you are happy for the time being you cannot stop pursuing money! May be money cannot buy happiness for all! It does buy happiness for some! Happiness being a mirage cannot pile money either! Strike a balance and have both happiness and money!

Higher income is most closely associated with happiness among those with the least income and is least closely associated with happiness for those with the most income.
Yes, for many money does make you happy. It enables a good quality of life and the ability to enjoy life, good food, friends and pleasurable pursuits! After basic needs have been met, additional income is associated with marginal increase in well-being and happiness!

One of the main sources of unhappiness is the search for happiness. Yet most people say that happiness is their goal of life, and many believe that they would achieve it if they were rich. And therein lies a paradox. Many have grown wealthier these days! The degree to which they claim to be happy has not kept pace.

Pursuit of happiness is a tagline of the 21st century. “Seek happiness” is one of the grandest illusions of our time. Remember Happiness is a road with twists, turns, and the occasional pit stops. Eternal happiness is a Myth! Small pleasures—Fresh air, sunshine, greenery, warm conversations, favourite music, and an early morning cup of coffee—add up to a big impact on our daily lives. Find joy in the little things amidst the big sorrows. Big moments in life are temporary and can be followed by challenges and pain.

Happiness is that elusive beacon we chase, often feels like a mirage shimmering on the horizon. You might wake up to a sunny day, but eventually, clouds roll in. Happy for ever- sounds appealing! Happiness isn’t a permanent resident in your emotional whirlpool! Just like the weather, it changes.
True happiness is hard to hold on to! Our lives are filled with so many ups and downs and our moments of joy are fleeting. We always want more. It’s natural for us to experience sadness and frustration in our lives. Let the sadness have its time. Then it passes on.

Can feeling – good ever be bad?
Is there a dark side of happiness? People in a heightened ‘happiness overdrive’ mode engage in riskier behaviours and tend to disregard threats and hurt themselves and others! , Happiness may be best when experienced in moderation—not too little, but also not too much.
Happiness” is a single term, but it refers to a rainbow of different flavours of emotions: Pride, a pleasant feeling associated with achievement and elevated social rank or status- but makes us focus more on ourselves. Too much pride or pride without genuine merit, it can lead to negative social outcomes, such as aggressiveness towards others, antisocial behaviour, and even an increased risk of mood disorders such as mania.
No stranger attitude! Start with a smile! Smile at strangers also! Smile begets smile! Have a pleasant temperament and be open to new people and new experiences. Friendliness is about offering warmth and good humour to those around you. Smile because you are happy! You are happy because you smile!

About Author