Who Is the Most Important Person in Your Life? Answer is – I am, myself!

GUEST COLUMN: Dr ನ Prabhudev
Bengaluru Express
Bengaluru, Dec. 2:

My Prayers
May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrows to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy and enough money to keep you comfortable!
So, who is the Most Important Person in Your Life!
Yes, many others are important! But I am not being selfish! We often make someone else, the most important person in our life; however, there is nothing wrong in it. This outlook eventually creates dependency! People nowadays have a hard time spending time with themselves. In fact, they cannot be alone with themselves without their phone, or their social circle. Keeping this in mind, the question: who is the most important person in my life, gains more weight!
The answer will be different from different people – based on their situations, experience and so on. I would say that, there is nothing wrong with having role models, but we should never lose ourselves in the process. As time goes by, seasons change and so do the things we consider important in our lives. As we get older, priorities, mind-sets and the people in our lives change. Who the most important person in my life today may change over the next few years and will most likely be different from today!
About the important person in your life- You are thinking – May be your spouse, your children, your parents, brother, a sister or may be the people you’ve committed your life to. They are always there for us when we need them most. I am grateful for all of the wonderful people in my life, but I can’t forget, I am important.
So, where do you come in? Are you the second most important person? Third, fourth, fifth? In madness, I thought I was the most important person in the world. The one person who can ever love you without any conditions, is you!
I will have to give myself the same time and attention and grace I give others. We are told to consider others above our rights and needs. Before I can be a good brother, father, husband, friend, doctor to anyone, I should be nice to myself to be taking care of others! I am very clear – Being of service to others is vital to me. I agree – Putting someone else’s needs first can be the appropriate action in many situations.
When you fall in love you recognise you’re not the most important person in the world, and your focus becomes another person. Love is when the other person’s happiness is more important than your own. The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.
Don’t be emotionally dependent – even on your own children- however much you may love them! The dependence will end up as a burden and a source of irritation! The less you depend on their time the more they value your stature and persona! They value you less as an obligation and more as an independent person!
You don’t have to tolerate disrespect. No one has a right to treat you badly! Decide whether it’s worth confronting the person! Say “Thank you” to backhanded compliments! Kill them with kindness! I have stunned so many disrespectful people by just being nice in return. Stay calm, smile, and then say something kind in return! Nothing annoys them more!
Don’t give if it is not appreciated! It’s indifference. The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others.That pat on the back. And that recognition for all the hard work you’ve put in. Only, it doesn’t always come. It’s that simple, which makes you wonder why more people can’t give a little gratitude. And why your efforts remain unrecognized, no matter how hard you try.
Don’t go out of your way and support if your help has not been sought you will be taken for granted! They don’t see it as a gift! They feel entitled! Instead of gratitude you will get contempt and blame you for their ineptitude and inefficiency!
No one can be a priority if you are an option! Don’t allow someone to treat you poorly just because you love them! Self-worth and self-respect are foundational to living a fulfilling and empowered life. Remember that you have the power to control how others treat you. You have the right to walk away from toxic relationships and environments that do not uplift and support you. Surround yourself with people who value and appreciate you for who you are.

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